Things 1225-4000

This is thing 1225: Which one of you bitches wants to dance?

This is thing 1226: Fondling moonbeams

This is thing 1227: Spoon me

This is thing 1228: Don't block the frock

This is thing 1229: love

This is thing 1230:dislike

This is thing 1231: Creaky nubbins

This is thing 1232: Maybe we could have been brothers, running a small quirky tavern in Sicily, maybe we would have married the local twins.

This is thing 1233: hop it

This is thing
1234: Why do you always have to make the bacon so curly?

This is thing 1235: Up with this I will not put

This is thing 1236: Guard your heart but love like you've never been hurt

This is thing 1237: Why did you do that?

This
isthing 1238: What is it? What is this? Can anybody tell me what the hell this is?!

This is thing 1239: Go there and wait my instructions.

This is thing
1240: A prostitute robot from the future

This is thing 1241: The older the wine is, the gooder it is.

This is thing 1242: Fizzy good make feel nice.

This is thing 1243: cloves....mmmmm

This is thing 1244: Learning to dance in the rain.

This is thing 1245: It may not be all that it seems right now but perfect timing means it will grow.

This is thing 1246: Learn to be your own best enemy and then beat it out of you.

This is thing 1247: Hitler's mustache

This is thing 1248: Mussolini's guts

This is thing 1249: The problem, John solved.

This is thing 1250: Do you have time for a quick survey?

This is thing 1251: Stalin's purges

This is thing 1252: Put some elbow grease into it.

This is thing 1253: Spring in the step, stab in the side.

This is thing 1254: It is significantly more indie. Which is not the only reason that it is less accessible.

This is thing 1255: You didn't do the dishes.

This is thing 1256: Could you, just once, tell me you love me?

This is thing 1257: Bake me a pie!

This is thing 1258: Why didn't you flush the toilet?

This is thing 1259: Oh, Staralfur.

This is thing 1260: A loss for words.

This is thing 1261: 70-90 %

This is thing 1262: Distinctly masculine.

This is thing 1263: Dirty band-aid.

This is thing 1264: What should I do with those?

This is thing 1265: A loss of life.

This is thing 1266: Trumpet Jazz vs. Saxophone Jazz.

This is thing 1267: Who would win in a fight: The Tree of The Knowledge of Good and Evil or Mr. Popper's Penguins?

This is thing 1268: Is that a condom? No, just an empty cheese stick wrapper.

This is thing 1269: EXIT

This is thing 1270: Try to watch all of Alfred Hitchcock's movies in one week.

This is thing 1271: My camping friends are dead.

This is thing 1272: I can't smoke without holding a Guinness.

This is thing 1273: A hole in the screen.

This is thing 1274: Why did it go so wrong?

This is thing 1275: Refreshments?

This is thing 1276: Headphone jack

This is thing 1277: I wonder about the amounts of mortar.

This is thing 1278: Could you vacuum the carpet before the guests arrive?

This is thing 1279: No cereal!?!

This is thing 1280: Fruit leather

This is thing 1281: Address

This is thing 1291: Bedding

This is thing 1292: So far, they are doing better than you.

This is thing 1293: Pretentious git!

This is thing 1294: what's that smell?

This is thing 1295: Worry-wort.

This is thing 1296: You shine your love on us.

This is thing 1297: The ads just keep increasing.

This is thing 1298: We should be fully wireless by January.

This is thing 1299: Business - Moscow Style.

This is thing 1300: The man with the golden hands.

This is thing 1301: I've got you pegged.

This is thing 1302: Please. . . Shut up.

This is thing 1303: Adrenaline

This is thing 1304: Nervousness.

This is thing 1305: Punching walls.

This is thing 1306: Cancerous.

This is thing 1307: Porous.

This is thing 1308: Sweat

This is thing 1309: Restricted breath

This is thing 1310: Dances without wolves.

This is thing 1311: Bad timing?

This is thing 1312: Ergo - Not-Ergo.

This is thing 1313: Who wants fascism?

This is thing 1314: Worse than could be expected.

This is thing 1315: A simpler man would understand.

This is thing 1316: Puh-LEESE

This is thing 1317: I'm tired of asking.

This is thing 1318: Can I find them?

This is thing 1319: He is late.

This is thing 1320: I'm sick of your buzz-words.

This is thing 1321: No, it wasn't very good.

This is thing 1322: Checking out the options.

This is thing 1323: Doesn't really feel very good, does it?

This is thing 1324: Babylon the great

This is thing 1325: Ancestor worship or just innocent tradition?

This is thing 1326: Not again! Already?

This is thing 1327: The hammer will fall.

This is thing 1328: I'm glad that it happened that way.

This is thing 1329: Anti-everything.

This is thing 1330: Clarity.

This is thing 1331: Walls are closing in.

This is thing 1332: We Recycle!

This is thing 1333: Stay out of the high-rise.

This is thing 1334: Coffee and Cigarettes.

This is thing 1335: Glass

This is thing 1336: Looking in a window and watching strangers view the television.

This is thing 1337: Rain or Snow?

This is thing 1338: Plastic.

This is thing 1339: Wrapped tight in silk.

This is thing 1340: Nice hat.

This is thing 1341: Who ever said that was classy?

This is thing 1342: I'll say what I want.

This is thing 1343: Buy a Big Mac, bitch.

This is thing 1344: Cardboard.

This is thing 1345: Your Christmas tree.

This is thing 1346: Locks on all the doors.

This is thing 1347: I saw your picture the other day; in Sam's bathroom.

This is thing 1348: Accent

This is thing 1349: Have you ever wondered what the maximum size/cost ratio is at your favorite cafe? Did you try to use calculus to find out?

This is thing 1350: Hey there.

This is thing 1351: I don't base my life on it. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

This is thing 1352: That's so huge.

This is thing 1353: Still has not called.

This is thing 1354: I think that he will soon change his tune.

This is thing 1355: Just laziness, I suppose.

This is thing 1356: An archway of boxes.

This is thing 1357: Newspaper.

This is thing 1358: Hot, hot, hot.

This is thing 1359: Ideation.

This is thing 1360: Think yourself not so wise.

This is thing 1361: I'm in love with the idea of the muses.

This is thing 1362: Hallelujah.

This is thing 1363: Why don't we let the expert speak?

This is thing 1364: Awkward silence, depart from me today.

This is thing 1365: Those are my local documents.

This is thing 1366: Ten 'Til.

This is thing 1367: Will we suffer death or dearth?

This is thing 1368: Both sides get buttered?

This is thing 1369: Food that resembled what I saw in Mexico.

This is thing 1370: Aluminum cans

This is thing 1371: Who was right?

This is thing 1372: Yeah, I'll give you feedback.

This is thing 1373: To tea or not to tea?

This is thing 1374: I miss the sodas.

This is thing 1375: fluorescent.

This is thing 1376: Cobwebs.

This is thing 1377: Halogen.

This is thing 1378: A magnet should do the trick.

This is thing 1379: I don't know what to think.

This is thing 1380: All the comments that you could ever give.

This is thing 1381: Black.

This is thing 1382: Replacement

This is thing 1383: Hanged by a jacket.

This is thing 1384: The rabbit.

This is thing 1385: Pinned to a fence.

This is thing 1386: I've got money.

This is thing 1387: Censored!

This is thing 1388: I bet that he is in a good mood.

This is thing 1389: I'm just so sick of prepositions.

This is thing 1390: What an exciting hat.

This is thing 1391: Just for decoration.

This is thing 1392: An impeding change in thought patterns.

This is thing 1393: A better was to separate?

This is thing 1394: No more than a draft.

This is thing 1395: Gumpy.

This is thing 1396: Even with all of the problems.

This is thing 1397: I need to calm my hands.

This is thing 1398: 4,7603 is a rough estimate.

This is thing 1399: It rained all fifteen days? So what is so great about the place?

This is thing 1400: Simplicity

This is thing 1401: It just feels so right.

This is thing 1402: Catch-phrase

This is thing 1403: Hunch

This is thing 1404: If you could only purchase one, which would it be?

This is thing 1405: To create an é, hold alt and press the numbers 1 - 3 - 0.

This is thing 1406: Transient creep.

This is thing 1407: The waiting game.

This is thing 1408: Look who is watching.

This is thing 1409:carpall tunnel syndrome.

This is thing 1410: I might name my first child Jack . . .Regardlesss of gender.

This is thing 1411: The master key to the master lock.

This is thing 1412: Did he hear the door open?

This is thing 1413: No one beats the optiplex!

This is thing 1414: I have more than two email addresses.

This is thing 1415: Impossible to stop.

This is thing 1416: Is it possible that I really have no idea how to read people?

This is thing 1417: Ivanna is a Russiann name with limitless possibilities.

This is thing 1418: Igloos are where some Eskimoss live.

This is thing 1419: I prefer ions to anions.

This is thing 1420: Intelligence is a fiction.

This is thing 1421: Interesting? I think not.

This is thing 1422: Inside of your survey methodology is a cancer.

This is thing 1423: Idaho produces numerous potatoes each year.

This is thing 1424: Please do not ask me to do that.

This is thing 1425: Pain only makes you stronger.

This is thing 1426: Passion is often inextricably linked to violence.

This is thing 1427: Poverty can come on any man.

This is thing 1428: Political Correctness is now working to ban "Tag" from school playgrounds.

This is thing 1429: Pace yourself. . .

This is thing 1430: Phat should not be.

This is thing 1431: Penal code: You've got to put the bad ones out of sight.

This is thing 1432: Pretend that you are your friend or significant other. Why do they get so frustrated?

This is thing 1433: Pie-pan.

This is thing 1434: Pink shirts never looked so terrible as today.

This is thing 1435: Coffee stains that are not mine.

This is thing 1436: Can't stand it!

This is thing 1437: Could you please pass the cow fetus?

This is thing 1438: Contradiction of terms.

This is thing 1439: Contagion

This is thing 1440: Can you remember all those names? I can't.

This is thing 1441: Cavernous? No thank you.

This is thing 1442: Calendars are for the weak.

This is thing 1443: Categorical perception.

This is thing 1444: Tick-Tock, baby.

This is thing 1445: Maybe that sounds nice.

This is thing 1446: A thematic element.

This is thing 1447: Hospital bracelet.

This is thing 1448: Unplugged.

This is thing 1449: Too much. . . just too much.

This is thing 1450: The biggest one in the history of big ones. I would rather not bite it.

This is thing 1451: Valkyrie.

This is thing 1452: Alexander the Great died in 323 BC.

This is thing 1453: I was born in August.

This is thing 1454: I sincerely hope that no one smells that.

This is thing 1455: Ferns

This is thing 1456: Why do you have a pet?

This is thing 1457: How to teach a child to want to keep tidy.

This is thing 1458: What were you thinking?

This is thing 1459: 436

This is thing 1460: I would like to see those infinite monkies who are writing Shakespeare.

This is thing 1461: Neo-Conservativism.

This is thing 1462: Why is it different when so close?

This is thing 1463: You say it like it is a bad thing.

This is thing 1464: Coming Soon.

This is thing 1465: No longer can I

This is thing 1466: Nothing describes it accurately.

This is thing 1467: You have seen nothing.

This is thing 1468: Not my scene.

This is thing 1469: Where was she? Oh, right.

This is thing 1470: Making a fool of yourself.

This is thing 1471: Fastidiousness

This is thing 1472: Pictures from Edinburgh.

This is thing 1473: I support Marita, and want a poster.

This is thing 1474: He knew what I was thinking.

This is thing 1475: They say that God is big enough to handle all of the world's problems. There are a lot of problems. . .

This is thing 1476: Why don't we just do the whole thing?

This is thing 1477: 120 sheets.

This is thing 1478: A few weeks between bitch-slaps.

This is thing 1479: Until Eight? I hope I've still got a chance.

This is thing 1480: Was she offended?

This is thing 1481: I like the way Gosha talks.

This is thing 1482: Adding 'baby' at the end of any sentence makes it sexy.

This is thing 1483: That's right, take upon yourself the mantle.

This is thing 1484: Beware of the Scorpio tomorrow.

This is thing 1485: It just keeps getting hotter.

This is thing 1486: I hope you come back. We shared something good. I think.

This is thing 1487: It really did lose subtlety.

This is thing 1488: Not eating bratwurst is an immense sacrifice.

This is thing 1489: I'll scrape out the grime.

This is thing 1490: Accountability partners.

This is thing 1491: Missed.

This is thing 1492: Wow, have you read book three, chapter eighty four?

This is thing 1493: Who are the friends?

This is thing 1494: That smells like fire.

This is thing 1495: Unfortunately, that is not money.

This is thing 1496: I ran and made it.

This is thing 1497: Cyrillic Alphabet Keyboard.

This is thing 1498: SXE

This is thing 1499: Vomit across the dashboard.

This is thing 1500: Swollen eyes.

PLACEHOLDER FOR 1501 -1600
This is thing 1601: If I ever get hit by a car, I hope it’s an ambulance.

This is thing 1602: Who decided to eat the first thing that came out of a chicken’s butt?

This is thing 1603: If you intend on living forever, you’re off to a good start.

This is thing 1604: If you work on a lobster boat, it’s probably not a good idea to sneak up behind people and pinch them in the ass.

This is thing 1605: Anything can be fixed with duck tape if you use enough.

This is thing 1606: If life is a joke, I don’t get it…

This is thing 1607: Most people will believe you when you make up facts, but when they see a sign that says “wet paint” they have to check for themselves.

This is thing 1608: Don’t put off procrastination.

This is thing 1609: It is impossible to lick your elbow.

This is thing 1610: 75% of you just tried to lick your elbow.

This is thing 1611: Fear: the thief of dreams

This is thing 1612: No one will think you stupid as long as you are smart enough to get the point.

This is thing 1613: Once you learn to forgive yourself, you can do pretty much whatever you please.

This is thing 1614: Live each day as though it’s your last. That means never do the laundry or dishes, clean the house, or go to work, because who really wants to do that on the last day of their life?

This is thing 1615: Learn to crawl before you walk, learn to walk before you run.

This is thing 1616: A hash brown is really nothing more than a giant tater tot.

This is thing 1617: The square root of 2 is 1.41421356237

This is thing 1618: What we do in life echoes in eternity.

This is thing 1619: If the Flinstones taught us anything, its that pelicans can be used to mix cement.

This is thing 1620: It’s better to be pissed off than pissed on.

This is thing 1621: Hard work pays off over time, but laziness always pays off immediately.

This is thing 1622: Nudist colonies are probably great until it comes to Halloween.

This is thing 1623: If you can’t decide between right and wrong, ask yourself “which is faster?”

This is thing 1624: A good way to ruin a first date is to kidnap your date and hold them hostage.

This is thing 1625: Second place is still first loser.

This is thing 1626: What’s another word for synonym?

This is thing 1627: What’s another word for thesaurus?

This is thing 1628: Cheaters never win.

This is thing 1629: Winners never cheat.

This is thing 1630: In reality, people who cheat probably win about 90% of the time.

This is thing 1631: If it’s not fun, don’t do it.

This is thing 1632: Remember that one time? That was a good time.

This is thing 1633: The best way to get out of jury duty is to feign prejudice against all races.

This is thing 1634: If you need to prove something, use facts.

This is thing 1635: What was the best thing before sliced bread?

This is thing 1636: If you don’t like your job, just go in every day and do it really half-assed.

This is thing 1637: I’d rather be rich than stupid.

This is thing 1638: There is more salt in the Atlantic Ocean than the Pacific Ocean.

This is thing 1639: Want to hear a story? Well earlier today I….no, wait, that wasn’t me.

This is thing 1640: One of the best fights you might ever see is between a humidifier and a de-humidifier

This is thing 1641: There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who know binary and those who don’t.

This is thing 1642: You never know what will happen next.

This is thing 1643: It takes a big man to cry, and a bigger man to laugh at that man.

This is thing 1644: It takes two to lie: one to lie and one to listen.

This is thing 1645: It was probably hard to get a date if you had the black death.

This is thing 1646: The average person can live for eleven days without water, assuming the average temperature is 60 degrees fahrenheit

This is thing 1647: If you don’t know the answer to someone’s question, just laugh until they forget what they asked you.

This is thing 1648: Milk should not be used for competitive sport.

This is thing 1649: Before you say anything, ask yourself, “is this better than silence?”

This is thing 1650: If at first you don’t succeed, hey, at least you tried.

This is thing 1651: Snails breathe through their feet

This is thing 1652: Dueling is legal in Paraguay as long as both parties are blood donors.

This is thing 1653: Stop reading this thing.

This is thing 1654: 96 billion pounds of food is wasted annually in the United States

This is thing 1655: Baskin Robins once made ketchup flavored ice cream.

This is thing 1656: Never regret anything … unless what you did was really stupid.

This is thing 1657: People with peace of mind can give a piece of their mind.

This is thing 1658: Home is where the house is.

This is thing 1659: If you’re going to install a skylight in your apartment, make sure you live on the top floor.

This is thing 1660: Inflammable and flammable mean the exact same thing.

This is thing 1661: Death is hereditary.

This is thing 1662: The slipperiest substance in the world is Teflon.

This is thing 1663: You have a greater chance of dying on your way to get a lottery ticket than winning with it.

This is thing 1664: Israel is approximately ¼ the size of Maine.

This is thing 1665: When being interviewed for a job, don’t ask if they press charges.

This is thing 1666: More people are killed annually by donkeys than plane crashes.

This is thing 1667: One in three snake bite victims is drunk.

This is thing 1668: One in five snake bite victims is tattooed.

This is thing 1669: You can always demand your rights, even if you don’t know what your rights are.

This is thing 1670: If you need to replace your headlights, make sure you don’t get strobe lights.

This is thing 1671: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

This is thing 1672: The more that you know, the more you are able to forget.

This is thing 1673: Chop-suey was originally made in California.

This is thing 1674: Don’t believe everything you read.

This is thing 1675: You are twice as likely to have a stroke or heart attack if you have a gum disease.

This is thing 1676: The most common street name in the United States is Second Street.

This is thing 1677: The sixth most common street name in the United States is First Street.

This is thing 1678: 45% of statistics are made up on the spot.

This is thing 1679: The previous statement was made up on the spot.

This is thing 1680: When dying, hearing is usually the last sense to go.

This is thing 1681: There are no ants in Iceland.

This is thing 1682: Robin Williams was voted least likely to succeed in high school.

This is thing 1683: Multitasking: Screwing up several things at once

This is thing 1684: Living people are not allowed to appear on U.S. stamps.

This is thing 1685: Venus is the only planet to rotate clockwise.

This is thing 1686: Fight against violence.

This is thing 1687: Cigarette lighters were invented before matches.

This is thing 1688: Why?

This is thing 1689: Porcupine quills are soft when they are born

This is thing 1690: I met God once. He lived next door to me and went by Mr. Baker. I asked him what it was like to be God once, but he said he wasn’t God. I still can’t believe that God would lie to me like that.

This is thing 1691: Dying is just another way of not being alive anymore.

This is thing 1692: The sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheeps sick.

This is thing 1693: More people speak English in China than in the United States.

This is thing 1694: If a slinky is stretched out it is about 87 feet long.

This is thing 1695: Who put the alphabet in that order?

This is thing 1696: This sentence is a lie.

This is thing 1697: The dot on the letter “i” is called a tittle.

This is thing 1698: Learn from the mistakes of others instead of your own mistakes.

This is thing 1699: If you ever meet the president and want to give him a gift of a firearm, it’s not a good idea to pull it out of your pocket really fast when its unwrapped.

This is thing 1700: Sometimes life is like a dream, such as when you realize you forgot to put on pants.

This is thing 1701:A bed

This is thing 1702: A chair

This is thing 1703: A kitchen table

This is thing 1704: A spoon

This is thing 1705: A knife

This is thing 1706: A fork

This is thing 1707: A plate

This is thing 1708: A cup

This is thing 1709: A toilet

This is thing 1710: A hairbrush

This is thing 1711: A stuffed animal

This is thing 1712: An armchair

This is thing 1713: A television

This is thing 1714: A remote control

This is thing 1715: A stereo

This is thing 1716: A carpet

This is thing 1717: A mirror

This is thing 1718: A closet

This is thing 1719: An oven mitt

This is thing 1720: A microwave

This is thing 1721: A coffee pot

This is thing 1722: A refrigerator

This is thing 1723: A telephone

This is thing 1724: A lamp

This is thing 1725: A computer

This is thing 1726: A bookshelf

This is thing 1727: A mug

This is thing 1728: A tea kettle

This is thing 1729: A spatula

This is thing 1730: A glass pitcher

This is thing 1731: A tissue box

This is thing 1732: A jewelry box

This is thing 1733: A paperclip

This is thing 1734: A bedroom

This is thing 1735: A crib

This is thing 1736: Coaster set

This is thing 1737: Placemats

This is thing 1738: A tablecloth

This is thing 1739: A dictionary

This is thing 1740: A bathtub

This is thing 1741: A towel

This is thing 1742: A kitchen sink

This is thing 1743: Toilet paper

This is thing 1744: A washing machine

This is thing 1745: A dryer

This is thing 1746: Laundry detergent

This is thing 1747: A photo album

This is thing 1748: A picture frame

This is thing 1749: A radio

This is thing 1750: A pencil sharpener

This is thing 1751: A fan

This is thing 1752: An air conditioner

This is thing 1753: An alarm clock

This is thing 1754: Paper towels

This is thing 1755: Cold medicine

This is thing 1756: Hand soap

This is thing 1757: A freezer

This is thing 1758: A nightlight

This is thing 1759: Cotton balls

This is thing 1760: A calculator

This is thing 1761: A nightstand

This is thing 1762: A vanity

This is thing 1763: A shower

This is thing 1764: A flowerpot

This is thing 1765: A vacuum

This is thing 1766: A broom

This is thing 1767: A mop

This is thing 1768: A smoke detector

This is thing 1769: An alarm

This is thing 1770: A door

This is thing 1771: A doorbell

This is thing 1772: A light switch

This is thing 1773: Wall paintings

This is thing 1774: A toaster

This is thing 1775: An oven

This is thing 1776: A toaster oven

This is thing 1777: A blender

This is thing 1778: A can opener

This is thing 1779: A ceiling fan

This is thing 1780: A couch

This is thing 1781: A coffee table

This is thing 1782: A medicine cabinet

This is thing 1783: Dish detergent

This is thing 1784: A shower rod

This is thing 1785: A shower curtain

This is thing 1786: A bathroom rug

This is thing 1787: A blanket

This is thing 1788: An office chair

This is thing 1789: A fish tank

This is thing 1790: A dishwasher

This is thing 1791: A linen closet

This is thing 1792: Bedroom slippers

This is thing 1793: A backpack

This is thing 1794: A garbage can

This is thing 1795: A first aid kit

This is thing 1796: A camera

This is thing 1797: A VCR

This is thing 1798: A DVD player

This is thing 1799: A suitcase

This is thing 1800: A calendar

This is thing 1801: Luke Likes Lakes.

This is thing 1802: Popcorn

This is thing 1803: Turtles in a half shell.

This is thing 1804: Happy Birthday

This is thing 1805: Cauliflower

This is thing 1806: AbCdEfGhIjKlMnOpQrStUvWxYz

This is thing 1807: Red

This is thing 1808: Blue

This is thing 1809: Orange

This is thing 1810: Yellow

This is thing 1811: Brown

This is thing 1812: Bag

This is thing 1813: Lunch

This is thing 1814: Yosemite Sam’s got a red beard.

This is thing 1815: Cunningham Muffins

This is thing 1816: Shoes.

This is thing 1817: Let’s get some shoes!

This is thing 1818: Clay may stay grey

This is thing 1819: Love 'em and leave 'em was Beauregard's creed;
his ardor soon flagged once he'd planted his seed.
But one lassie's kin
took revenge for his sin,
and fixed him so Beau had to squat when he peed.

This is thing 1820: Spanish Moss.

This is thing 1821: Pink Lemonade

This is thing 1822: How much longer?

This is thing 1823: Spade

This is thing 1824: Club

This is thing 1825: Heart

This is thing 1826: Diamond

This is thing 1827: Julia Roberts played Candy Hutchins in Baja Oklahoma.

This is thing 1828: Her husband, Daniel Moder has four siblings: John, Jyl, Jane and
Debbie.

This is thing 1829: SCOTCH TAPE.

This is thing 1830:

This is thing 1831: One time somebody tried to count the number of freckles on my elbow (there are a lot).

This is thing 1832: They gave up after 3.

This is thing 1833: What if men changed their last names to their wives’s when they got married?

This is thing 1834: My ipod’s name is Samuel.

This is thing 1835: My computer’s name is Henry.

This is thing 1836: I can’t wait to name my kids.

This is thing 1837: Trixie, a blue-tongued lizard with two heads, was discovered in Australia.

This is thing 1838: I have to meet my bio-psych project group at the ugli at 9

This is thing 1839: its 8:57

This is thing 1840: BRB

This is thing 1841: Mariiiaaaa, I just met a girl named Mariiiaaaa.

This is thing 1842: I’m afraid of sharks

This is thing 1843: June 24, 1843: Vincenzo Soliva decrees no Jew can live outside of ghetto in Italy

This is thing 1845: There isn’t any time.

This is thing 1846: Bananas!

This is thing 1847: Root Beer!

This is thing 1848: Cantaloupe!

This is thing 1849: Hexagon!

This is thing 1850: Sleep spindles.

This is thing 1851: Little girl, where have you been?

This is thing 1852: ~~~~~~SHARK ATTACK!~~~~~~

This is thing 1853: swim

This is thing 1854: swim

This is thing 1855: swim

This is thing 1856: swim

This is thing 1857: SWIM

This is thing 1858: FASTER!

This is thing 1859: “Friend” is a four-letter word.

This is thing 1860: Skittles: taste the rainbow

This is thing 1861: I am a princess.

This is thing 1862: bzzzzzZzzzzzzzzZZZzzzzzzzzzz…..

This is thing 1863: Jenny spent her Christmas at the airport. She says planes make her feel like she can get away.

This is thing 1864: FASTER!
This is thing 1865: I Love You

This is thing 1866: Michael Dobbs, Washington Post Warsaw Correspondent, 1980.

This is thing 1867: Across Arabian Dunes.

This is thing 1868: curly, girly smile

This is thing 1869: Speedwalk

This is thing 1870: headache.

This is thing 1871: alef bet vet gimel daled hay vav zayin chet tet yud kaf, khaf, lamed mem nun samech ayin pay fay tzade kuf resh shin sin tav

This is thing 1872: Friends of the Omaha Zoo (FOOZ) Zoolightful
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
5 - 8 p.m.

This is thing 1873: Water that rises down?

This is thing 1874: JULY

This is thing 1875: Toasted peanut butter and jelly

This is thing 1876: Tomato soup with rice

This is thing 1877: Mashes potatoes (with the skin ON)

This is thing 1878: Hamburger Helper

This is thing 1879: Spatula

This is thing 1880: Stir it Up

This is thing 1881:

This is thing 1882: a shooting star

This is thing 1883: a cosmonaut

This is thing 1884: a jelly fish

This is thing 1885: an airport shuttle

This is thing 1886: 703-620-5183

This is thing 1887: sandy beaches

This is thing 1888: coloring book

This is thing 1889: Save a horse, ride a cowboy.

This is thing 1890: shoplifting

This is thing 1891: crazy horse

This is thing 1892: lateral geniculate nucleus

This is thing 1893: paradigm

This is thing 1894: Choosy moms choose Jif.

This is thing 1895: 1895

This is thing 1896: school bus

This is thing 1897: cyclopentasiloxane

This is thing 1898: Let’s imagine for a moment that we are tiny enough to follow a bee into a hive. Usually the first thing we would have to get used to is the darkness…

This is thing 1899: May 15, 2007 will fall on a Tuesday.

This is thing 1900: ketchup

This is thing 1901: hyperbole

This is thing 1902: Christina Vollbrecht

This is thing 1903: HOT potato!

This is thing 1904: The best cure for insomnia is plenty of sleep.

This is thing 1905: What is brown and sticky?

This is thing 1906: A stick!
This is thing 1907:

This is thing 1908: Pins and Needles.

This is thing 1909: Times fun when you’re having flies!

This is thing 1910: Yesterday was 2 days before a week from tomorrow.

This is thing 1911: Shopaholic

This is thing 1912: Plagiarism

This is thing 1913: Catalyst

This is thing 1914: Shoe string

This is thing 1915: I can ask the magic eight ball anything?

This is thing 1916: Every living thing dies alone.
This is thing 1917: On 11/22/2006 the sun will set in Wellington, New Zealand at 8:23pm.

This is thing 1918: Reading Rainbow

This is thing 1919: My Little Pony

This is thing 1920: Alphabet soup

This is thing 1921: The Price is Right

This is thing 1922: Lady and the Tramp

This is thing 1923: Jungle Fever

This is thing 1924: Blueberry muffins

This is thing 1925: Hopscotch

This is thing 1926: Dreidle, Dreidle, Dreidle

This is thing 1927: 27

This is thing 1928: Chicago, Illinois

This is thing 1929: Video killed the radio star.

This is thing 1930: Et, en suit, un morse a venu. Fermez la bouche!

This is thing 1931: Nationwide is on your side

This is thing 1932: midnighT traiN tO georgiA

This is thing 1933: There must be 50 ways to leave your lover.

This is thing 1934: 80’s pop

This is thing 1935: Come see the vampires of New York

This is thing 1936: Ape shit

This is thing 1937: a nut for a jar of tuna

This is thing 1938: Shalimar

This is thing 1939: Shiny and thicker, stronger and longer, WOW! It’s Condoo!

This is thing 1940: double frenzy

This is thing 1941: shiny happy people holding hands

This is thing 1942: ladle

This is thing 1943: yodle

This is thing 1944: the Orange Line

This is thing 1945: 5:21pm

This is thing 1946: O.K.

This is thing 1947: ICUP

This is thing 1948: Bermuda Traingle
This is thing 1949:

This is thing 1950: Talk to you tomorrow.

PLACEHOLDER 1951 - 3000


This is thing 3001: A delicious sandwich perched on one knee.

This is thing 3002: Health Valley, Low Fat, Stoned Wheat, No Trans-Fat, NEW LOOK GREAT TASTE!

This is thing 3003: A surprisingly delicious cracker.

This is thing 3004: Dark chocolate covered espressobeans.

This is thing 3005: An insatiable desire for a mid-day meal.

This is thing 3006: George Harrison's need for a uni-brow.

This is thing 3007: Paul McCartney's need for marijuana.

This is thing 3008: John Lennon's need for glasses.

This is thing 3009: Ringo Starr's need for talent.

This is thing 3010: A rolling stone gathers no moss.

This is thing 3011: A bunny rabbit gathers no moss.

This is thing 3012: Cardboard gathers no moss.

This is thing 3013: A mouse gathers no moss.

This is thing 3014: Musical Instruments gather no moss.

This is thing 3015: Something sweet and delicious gathers no moss.

This is thing 3016: A pirate gathers no moss....maybe.

This is thing 3017: A milk crate gathers no moss.

This is thing 3018: A bleak case of a sore throat.

This is thing 3019: A sore throat gathers no moss.

This is thing 3020: A mouse seeking freedom inside a girls sweatshirt sleeve.

This is thing 3021: A scream coming from a girl.

This is thing 3022: Caged pets gather no moss.

This is thing 3023: A fashionable denim hand-bag.

This is thing 3024: Rising urinals.

This is thing 3025: Rising urinals that gather no moss.

This is thing 3026: A mouse in a gerbil ball.

This is thing 3027: We're not Brazil, we're Northern Ireland!

This is thing 3028: Dancing in My Nutty Pants

This is thing 3029: Yummy sushi pajamas.

This is thing 3030: Glory, glory, hallelujiah!

This is thing 3031: America's crappy drinking age DEFINITELY GATHERS MOSS.

This is thing 3032: An abused penguin.

This is thing 3033: Really large men in really tiny tights.

This is thing 3034: Nutrient enhanced water beverage.

This is thing 3035: Sam the Imaginary Pet Penguin

This is thing 3036: Pantothenic Acid gathers no moss.

This is thing 3037: Perodoxyl Hydrochloride

This is thing 3038: I'm pretty sure perodoxyl is a dinosaur.

This is thing 3039: The Perodoxyl is a wiley creature, with sharp teeth, fangs, and a one horn coming out of his forehead.

This is thing 3040: Clearly, the perodoxyl gathers no moss.

This is thing 3041: Not funny Nazi jokes.

This is thing 3042: Really funny Nazi jokes.

This is thing 3043: Yodeling gathers no moss.

This is thing 3044: A torn pair of pants.

This is thing 3045: Snickering at a torn pair of pants.

This is thing 3046: A torn pair of trousers.

This is thing 3047: Kneecaps.

This is thing 3048: Unrepentant kneecap violence.

This is thing 3049: Wireless internet signal from a pumpkin.

This is thing 3050: Cranberry-orange tea.

This is thing 3051: Your mom's tea.

This is thing 3052: English tea.

This is thing 3053: Tetley tea.

This is thing 3054: Nanberrie tea.

This is thing 3055: Earl Grey tea.

This is thing 3056: Chamomile tea.

This is thing 3057: Tse-tse fly tea.

This is thing 3058: Pine-needle tea.

This is thing 3059: Squirrel tea.

This is thing 3060: Billy Bones tea.

This is thing 3061: Peppermint Utopia tea.

This is thing 3062: Craic tea.

This is thing 3063: Coffee tea.

This is thing 3064: Pumpkin router tea.

This is thing 3065: Pumpkin pie.

This is thing 3066: Apple pie.

This is thing 3067: Bumbleberry pie.

This is thing 3068: Your mom's pie.

This is thing 3069: Kneecap pie.

This is thing 3070: Rhubarb pie.

This is thing 3071: Laptop pie.

This is thing 3072: Bangers n' Mash pie.

This is thing 3073: Blackbird pie.

This is thing 3074: A bad stomach ache ensuing from the consumption of said Blackbird pie.

This is thing 3075: Shepherd's pie.

This is thing 3076: Shepherdess pie.

This is thing 3077: Cherry pie.

This is thing 3078: Banana pie.

This is thing 3079: Squirrel pie.

This is thing 3080: Other small woodland-creature pies.

This is thing 3081: Deer pie.

This is thing 3082: Endangered animal pie.

This is thing 3083: Woodpecker's pie.

This is thing 3084: Lemon pie.

This is thing 3085: Severed body parts pie.

This is thing 3086: Cannibalism is generally frown upon in most societies.

This is thing 3087: But whatever, we don't really
care.
This is thing 3088: Door worms.

This is thing 3089: Book worms.

This is thing 3090: Hair worms.

This is thing 3091: Squirrel worms.

This is thing 3092: Pictures of worms.

This is thing 3093: Autobiographies about worms.

This is thing 3094: Wild worms.

This is thing 3095: Domesticated worms.

This is thing 3096: Obese worms.

This is thing 3097: Stretched worms.

This is thing 3098: Worm tea.

This is thing 3099: Worm pie.

This is thing 3100: German worms.

This is thing 3101: Pierced worms.

This is thing 3102: Creatively blended juices.

This is thing 3103: Fortified juices.

This is thing 3104: Unfortified juices.

This is thing 3105: Fortified castles.

This is thing 3106: Unfortified castles.

This is thing 3107: Fortified notebook paper.

This is thing 3108: Unfortified notebook paper.

This is thing 3109: Complete boredom with the topic at hand.

This is thing 3110: I'm only existential on the weekends.

This is thing 3111: Non-existential thought on Mondays.

This is thing 3112: The loss of a cigarette.

This is thing 3113: Somebody smoked my lucky.

This is thing 3114: Somebody is going to get hurt.

This is thing 3115: The origin of the lucky came from the Native Americans.

This is thing 3116: World War II brought the United States out of the Depression.

This is thing 3117: Antibiotics brought sick people out of strep throat.

This is thing 3118: King Arthur brought Exalibur out of the stone.

This is thing 3119: A catchy tune on the radio.

This is thing 3120: A really bad DJ.

This is thing 3121: A really good DJ.

This is thing 3122: A large red purse.

This is thing 3123: A large brown purse.

This is thing 3124: The contents inside of a large red purse.

This is thing 3125: The contents inside of a large brown purse.

This is thing 3126: A very loud cough from across the room.

This is thing 3127: A silent cackle from across the room.

This is thing 3128: A pernicious giggle from across the room.

This is thing 3129: A paranoid moan from across the room.

This is thing 3130: A loud yell from across the room.

This is thing 3131: A deep groan from inside of a maze.

This is thing 3132: The sound of complete defeat from inside of a maze.

This is thing 3133: A phoenix guiding a stranger through a maze.

This is thing 3134: A confrontation between a mythical creature and a human inside of a maze.

This is thing 3135: An epic battle, resulting in death of a mythical creature, inside of a maze.

This is thing 3136: A cry of victory from inside a maze.

This is thing 3137: The search for a helpful phoenix inside of a maze.

This is thing 3138: Realization that the phoenix is long gone, inside of a maze.

This is thing 3139: Hacking through shrubbery inside of a maze.

This is thing 3140: Deciding to set up camp for the night inside of a maze.

This is thing 3141: Feeling desperately alone, and cold, inside of a maze.

This is thing 3142: Having nothing for breakfast inside of a maze.

This is thing 3143: Setting off once again, hungry and alone, inside of a maze.

This is thing 3144: Footsteps treading for five hours inside of a maze.

This is thing 3145: Seeing light at the end of a row of bushes inside of a maze.

This is thing 3146: Discovering not the end, but the friendly and helpful phoenix, inside of a maze.

This is thing 3147: Realizing that the phoenix might not be leading you out of the maze, inside of a maze.

This is thing 3148: Becoming more and more annoyed at the phoenix inside of a maze.

This is thing 3149: Having dinner inside of a maze.

This is thing 3150: The inevitable remorse that ensues after the consumption of a friend inside of a maze.

This is thing 3151: Severe nicotine withdrawl inside of a maze.

This is thing 3152: Wishing you had quit smoking before you agreed to go inside of this damn maze.

This is thing 3153: Deciding you might as well start a colony inside of a maze, since getting out is apparently not an option.

This is thing 3154: Hoping that someone of the opposite sex walks by soon inside of a maze.

This is thing 3155: A thick fog covering your body inside of a maze.

This is thing 3156: Being lifted by the thick fog inside of a maze.

This is thing 3157: Flying through the air, seeing the end of the maze in sight, inside of a maze.

This is thing 3158: Being tossed back to the ground by a thick fog inside of a maze.

This is thing 3159: A light whisper encouraging you to proceed inside of a maze.

This is thing 3160: Wondering if that thick fog was a hallucinogenic, and wondering where you can get more, inside of a maze.

This is thing 3161: Finding a new sense of hope to carry on inside of a maze.

This is thing 3162: Running fervently inside of a maze.

This is thing 3163: Being approached by a gnome inside of a maze.

This is thing 3164: Trying to figure out quickly whether this gnome is a friend or foe inside of a maze.

This is thing 3165: Being tipped off that this gnome is in fact foe inside of a maze.

This is thing 3166: The shiny glint of a point knife in the hand of a gnome inside of a maze.

This is thing 3167: Looking for a weapon inside of a maze.

This is thing 3168: Diving out of the way of a knife wound inside of a maze.

This is thing 3169: Kicking a gnome inside of a maze.

This is thing 3170: Barely missing a cut to the stomach inside of a maze.

This is thing 3171: Grabbing the gnome by the throat and stealing his knife inside of a maze.

This is thing 3172: Stabbing a gnome inside of a maze.

This is thing 3173: Hearing a gnome's last words inside of a maze.

This is thing 3174: Promising to take care of a gnome's wife and children inside of a maze.

This is thing 3175: Laughing at a lie inside of a maze.

This is thing 3176: Excitement at the acquirement of a knife inside of a maze.

This is thing 3177: Looking for uses for a knife inside of a maze.

This is thing 3178: Whittling a stick inside of a maze.

This is thing 3179: Poking things with a whittled stick inside of a maze.

This is thing 3180: Making a miniature house out of whittled sticks inside of a maze.

This is thing 3181: Acquiring a new hobby inside of a maze.

This is thing 3182: Trying to find a way to market miniature houses made out of sticks inside of a maze.

This is thing 3183: Wishing you had the internet inside of a maze.

This is thing 3184: Re-enacting The Story of the Three Little Pigs inside of a maze.

This is thing 3185: Creating a model village inside of a maze.

This is thing 3186: Whittling tiny little village

people to live inside of the model village inside of the maze.

This is thing 3187: Becoming emotionally attached to a fantasy village inside of a maze.

This is thing 3188: Finding a reason to keep on living inside of a maze.

This is thing 3189: Building a model factory inside of a maze.

This is thing 3190: Putting a model village through the industrial revolution inside of a maze.

This is thing 3191: Watching a model village go through an economic depression inside of a maze.

This is thing 3192: Whittling a model-sized Germany army to invade a model-sized Poland inside of a maze.

This is thing 3193: Creating model-sized airplanes that drop bombs on a model-sized Pearl Harbor inside of a maze.

This is thing 3194: Entering a model sized United States entering into World War II inside of a maze.

This is thing 3195: Whittling model-sized women to work in the model-sized factories built out of sticks inside of a maze.

This is thing 3196: Creating more airplanes to drop atomic bombs on a model-sized Japan inside of a maze.

This is thing 3197: Running triumphantly to celebrate the Allies victory inside of a maze.

This is thing 3198: Realizing that you've pretty much used most of the sticks available to you inside of a maze.

This is thing 3199: Noticing that there is scarcely any shrubbery left inside of a maze.

This is thing 3200: Stepping out of the maze that has been your home for the past few years, and realizing you'll miss the place...but it's time to meet your future.

This is thing 3201: Consumption of tramps.

This is thing 3202: Inevitable indigestion.

This is thing 3203: Sincere gratitude for a wise bagel purchase.

This is thing 3204: Leaving the door open to the closet.

This is thing 3205: Leaving the door open to the bathroom.

This is thing 3206: Leaving the door open to your house.

This is thing 3207: Coming home to the open door of your house, and a lack of posessions.

This is thing 3208: Damn burglarers!

This is thing 3209: Kidnapping is a dying trade.

This is thing 3210: Does nobody like kids anymore?

This is thing 3211: Come on, free children!

This is thing 3212: Young children are frightening.

This is thing 3213: Evidence of the above statement: the fact that most perpetrators in scary movies are small children.

This is thing 3214: Pursenapping.

This is thing 3215: Bagelnapping.

This is thing 3216: Mmm...napping.

This is thing 3217: Cigarettenapping.

This is thing 3218: Coffeenapping.

This is thing 3219: Aww...baby cappucinos!

This is thing 3220: Cappucinonapping.

This is thing 3221: Wordnapping.

This is thing 3222: Porpoisenapping.

This is thing 3223: I wonder if hippogriffs were on the ark.

This is thing 3224: They probably were eaten.

This is thing 3225: Perhaps unicorns met the same demise.

This is thing 3226: Praying mantis porn.

This is thing 3227: A constipated dismayed look.

This is thing 3228: Caroted sinus massage

This is thing 3229: Corrosion invasion.

This is thing 3230: Denying oneself a toilet.

This is thing 3231: Play a game of football with rolls of toilet paper.

This is thing 3232: Putting toilet paper to better use.

This is thing 3233: Toilet paper muffins.

This is thing 3234: Animal cruelty can be enormously satisfying.

This is thing 3235: Lighters are more dangerous than cigarettes.

This is thing 3236: To sleep or not to sleep?

This is thing 3237: If you prefer sleeping over coffee, than you must be a real loser.

This is thing 3238: Raising the bar for sleep inability.

This is thing 3239: Lattes are for kids. Give me the good stuff.

This is thing 3240: Unfiltered triple action comatose.

This is thing 3241: Awooga is not in the dictionary

This is thing 3242: A mysterious stunt double for a stranger.

This is thing 3243: An unknown stranger.

This is thing 3244: A known stranger.

This is thing 3245: A hideous, dangerously cheesy crush.

This is thing 3246: A hideous, dangerously cheesy crush on an unknown stranger.

This is thing 3247: A hideous, dangerously cheesy crush on a known stranger.

This is thing 3248: A use of quotations due to

laziness and severe lack of sleep.

This is thing 3249: Sleeping sheep.

This is thing 3250: Sleeping cantelopes.

This is thing 3251: Sleeping antelopes.

This is thing 3252: Sleeping mountain goats.

This is thing 3253: Sleeping artichokes.

This is thing 3254: Sleeping lazy folks.

This is thing 3255: Sleeping to not be woke.

This is thing 3256: Sleeping despite a poke.

This is thing 3257: Sleeping marijuana smoke.

This is thing 3258: Sleeping frog croak.

This is thing 3259: Sleeping anecdote.

This is thing 3260: Screw rhymes. I'm switching to alliteration.

This is thing 3261: Sleeping sassquatch.

This is thing 3262: Sleeping sandwich.

This is thing 3263: Sleeping saga.

This is thing 3264: Sleeping similes

This is thing 3265: Sleeping soundly.

This is thing 3266: Sleeping squirrels sitting sideways.

This is thing 3267: Sleeping separately.

This is thing 3268: Sleeping square-wise.

This is thing 3269: Sleeping syrups.

This is thing 3270: Sleeping sunshine shines sleepily on Sunday.

This is thing 3271: Sleeping surely sounds sexy!

This is thing 3272: Sleeping shouldn't sound sexy.

This is thing 3273: Hey Sleep, lookin' good tonight. Wanna come back to my place?

This is thing 3274: Sorry, I'm seeing someone.

This is thing 3275: It's cool, I understand. Nice alliteration.

This is thing 3276: Keep your compliments to yourself, you bad boy.

This is thing 3277: A fireman in a cowboy hat.

This is thing 3278: The unlikely hood of seeing a fireman in a cowboy hat.

This is thing 3279: A hallucinatory fireman in a cowboy hat.

This is thing 3280: The unlikelihood of seeing a fireman in a cowboy hat actualized by an underslept person seeing one, in a confirmed, non-hallucinatory state.

This is thing 3281: Real, dark, excitement.

This is thing 3282: Dark roasted coffee, not quite burnt.

This is thing 3283: Coffee - the anti-sleep.

This is thing 3284: Espresso - the sleep annihilator.

This is thing 3285: Double espresso - the sleep A-bomb

This is thing 3286: Triple espresso - the sleep nuclear warfare.

This is thing 3287: Nuclear warfare is not for hippies.

This is thing 3288: I almost missed this one.

This is thing 3289: Hippie love.

This is thing 3290: Hippie love tree.

This is thing 3291: Hippie love tree long time.

This is thing 3292: Hippie sleep under tree, long time.

This is thing 3293: Sleeping under a large poplar tree.

This is thing 3294: Sleeping, standing, bovines.

This is thing 3295: Sleeping, standing, hamburgers.

This is thing 3296: You can milk a hamburger, I mean cow.

This is thing 3297: Hamburger milk.

This is thing 3298: Hamburger skim milk.

This is thing 3299: Hamburger 2% milk.

This is thing 3300: The color aquayellow.

This is thing 3301: The color purplack.

This is thing 3302: The color turqorange.

This is thing 3303: The color maroorange.

This is thing 3304: The color aquamaroon.

This is thing 3305: The color lilawhite.

This is thing 3306: The color indigorange.

This is thing 3307: The color violac.

This is thing 3308: The color quadriplegic.

This is thing 3309: The color of the mind is clearly
gray.

This is thing 3310: Hmm..spaghetti noodles!

This is thing 3311: The color graqua.

This is thing 3312: The color brunoir.

This is thing 3313: The color off-red.

This is thing 3314: The color pale black.

This is thing 3315: Your insanity perturbs me not.

This is thing 3316: The taste of a backpack.

This is thing 3317: Hannukah - the other Christmas.

This is thing 3318: Kwanzaa - the other, other
Christmas.

This is thing 3319: Christmas - Christmas.

This is thing 3320: Easter Bunnies make a delicious
rabbit stew.

This is thing 3321: Chocolate Easter Bunnies do not
make a delicious rabbit stew.

This is thing 3322: However, they make good brownies.

This is thing 3323: As well as good objects to throw
at small children.

This is thing 3324: Hallowedding.

This is thing 3325: Thanksween.

This is thing 3326: Valentinesmas.

This is thing 3327: Christmastines Day.

This is thing 3328: St. Sweetest's Feast Day.

This is thing 3329: Triangular Day.

This is thing 3330: Pick-pocket Day.

This is thing 3331: Buy your Pick-pocket Day cards -
for the people in your life you pretend to care about.

This is thing 3332: Friends With Benefits Day - The
Makers of Sweetest Day bring you the Newest, Poshest
Holiday. Coming to you, this August 22nd!

This is thing 3333: Second Cousins Twice Removed Day!
- January 5th

This is thing 3334: Hug a Gay Day! - April 11th.

This is thing 3335: Abnormal Accessory and
Alliteration Appreciation Day - the only thing better
than one holiday, is two unrelated holidays together!
September 28th.

This is thing 3336: Not-Sure-How-To-Celebrate-This Day
day - September 11th.

This is thing 3337: It's Someone's Mother's Birthday!
- May 6th.

This is thing 3338: Guilt and Recompense Day -
Everyday.

This is thing 3339: Stealing someone's tattoo is
equivalent to pirating music.

This is thing 3340: How many butts have I shared this
toilet with?

This is thing 3341: Don't have any friends? Smoke
cigarettes!

This is thing 3342: Lung Cancer Appreciation Day- July
23rd.

This is thing 3343: Clean A Sewage Drain Day -
February 29th.

This is thing 3344: Thank God that Holiday is Only
Celebrated Every Four Years Day - February 28th.

This is thing 3345: A liberal amount of hot sauce.

This is thing 3346: Why is it that minorities always
enjoy hot sauce more than majorities?

This is thing 3347: Sometimes I wish I was a minority.

This is thing 3348: Purl stitch.

This is thing 3349: Knit stich.

This is thing 3350: Crochet stitch.

This is thing 3351: Circle-knitting.

This is thing 3352: Purling and knitting in the same
row creates a ribbing pattern.

This is thing 3353: Dropping a stitch - a loss of
womanhood.

This is thing 3354: A slip-knot starts the excitement
of knitting.

This is thing 3355: Casting on.

This is thing 3356: Binding off - the completion of a
scarf.

This is thing 3357: Larger gauge needles are easier to
use, but create a looser a knit.

This is thing 3358: Julia Roberts knits.

This is thing 3359: Socks are hard to knit. Most
people make one sock, and then are done.

This is thing 3360: The Uselessness of One Sock.

This is thing 3361: The kinc stitch increases stitches
from right to left.

This is thing 3362: The kbinc stich increases stitches
from left to right.

This is thing 3363: An Icord can make things a lot
easier for knitters.

This is thing 3364: Weft knitting - the usual kind.
Makes horizontal, parallel rows.

This is thing 3365: Warp knitting - the unusual kind.
Makes vertical, parallel wales.

This is thing 3366: Knitting a whale.

This is thing 3367: Whales are large creatures.

This is thing 3368: Whale 101 - free lessons in
Finding Nemo!

This is thing 3369: Whale 220 can be taken as an
elective at Ivy League schools.

This is thing 3370: Whales are in the cetacean family.

This is thing 3371: Dolphins are also in the cetacean
family, but are not whales.

This is thing 3372: Orcas (Killer Whales) and Pilot
Whales, are actually dolphins, for classification
purposes.

This is thing 3373: Ambergris - an ingredient used in
perfume, which comes from the intestines of sperm
whales.

This is thing 3374: Toothed whales (or Odontoceti) - a
suborder of the cetacean family, characterized by the
having of teeth in whales.

This is thing 3375: Toothed whales are active hunters,
and should be feared.

This is thing 3376: Toothed whales do not have baleen,
unlike the suborder of the Mysticeti suborder of the
Cetacean family.

This is thing 3377: Toothed whales have only a single
blow-hole.

This is thing 3378: Whales belonging to the Mysticeti
suborder have two blow holes.

This is thing 3379: Humans, as well, have two blow
holes.

This is thing 3380: Dolphins belong to the Odontoceti
suborder.

This is thing 3381: Commerson's Dolphin:
Cephalorhynchus commersonii

This is thing 3382: Chilean Dolphin, Cephalorhynchus
eutropia

This is thing 3383: Heaviside's Dolphin,
Cephalorhynchus heavisidii

This is thing 3384: Hector's Dolphin, Cephalorhynchus
hectori

This is thing 3385: Rough-toothed Dolphin, Steno
bredanensis

This is thing 3386: Atlantic Humpback Dolphin, Sousa
teuszi

This is thing 3387: Indian Humpback Dolphin, Sousa
plumbea

This is thing 3388: Chinese White Dolphin, Sousa
chinensis

This is thing 3389: The Chinese White Dolphin is
characterized by his teeth, and his excellent math
skills.

This is thing 3390: The need for organization and
categorization is exhausting.

This is thing 3391: The Bottlenose Dolphin (Tursiops
truncatus) is clearly an alcoholic.

This is thing 3392: The White-Beaked Dolphin
(Lagenorhynchus albirostris) makes more money and has
a superior place in society due simply to his beak
color. This is not the case with the Black-chinned
Dolphin (Lagenorhynchus australis) - racial injustice
is everywhere.

This is thing 3393: The Melon-headed whale
(Peponocephala electra) is also in the Odontoceti
suborder, and looks really funny.

This is thing 3394: The Pygmy Killer Whale (Feresa
attenuata) is an asshole who is currently having a
genocide in New Guinea.

This is thing 3395: The False Killer Whale (Pseudorca
crassidens) is simply a case of wrong place, wrong
time.

This is thing 3396: Nobody wants to bring the
Australian Snubfin Dolphin (Orcaella heinsohni) home
for dinner.

This is thing 3397: The Hourglass Dolphin ( Orcaella
heinsohni) has a great body.

This is thing 3398: The Spectacled Porpoise (Phocoena
dioptrica) would benefit from contacts, but doesn't
have good enough insurance.

This is thing 3399: Some people explode whales. That's
really, really rude.

This is thing 3400: The platypus torpedo will not be
denied.

This is thing 3401: Frubbles (n) - a term used in the
United Kingdom to express the word "Compersion" in
Polyamorous relationships.

This is thing 3402: See: Compersion

This is thing 3403: See: Polyamorous.

This is thing 3404: See: United Kingdom.

This is thing 3405: "I'm Feeling Frubbly."

This is thing 3406: "They give me the frubbles."

This is thing 3407: Frubble me this, frubbler.

This is thing 3408: Frubbly (adj) - a term used in the
United Kingdom to express the state of a polyamorous
relationship.

This is thing 3409: Limerence - a term coined by some
psychologist to express an involuntary cognitive and
emotional state in which a person feels romantic
feelings for another person.

This is thing 3410: Limerent object - the another
person.

This is thing 3411: Swinging - having sex with lots of
people as a recreational activity.

This is thing 3412: Swinging clearly goes against the
10 Commandments.

This is thing 3413: The main rule of etiquette in a
swinging community is "no means no."

This is thing 3414: After World War II, Lucky Strikes,
Camels and Chesterfield had a firm hold on the
cigarette market.

This is thing 3415: But then Mr. Marlboro decided to
give his cigarettes a cowboy image, and then their
sales skyrocketed by 5000%.

This is thing 3416: Errbody wants to be a cowboy.

This is thing 3417: Marlboro Lights are marketed as
Marlboro Silvers in the EU.

This is thing 3418: Marlboro Blend No. 28: Blend No.
27's British Cousin.

This is thing 3418: Marlboro Blend No. 29: Blend No.
27 and 28's Family Member that they don't like to talk
about.

This is thing 3419: Marlboro Wides are sold in
Portugal, France, Spain, The Netherlands, Mexico,
Greece and Germany.

This is thing 3420: Camel Wides are sold here in
America.

This is thing 3421: Camel Wides condone obesity, and
therefore, are unhealthy.

This is thing 3422: Marlboro Filter Plus - provides
you with 50% of your daily vitamins and minerals.

This is thing 3423: Things 3422 is a lie.

This is thing 3424: Richard Nixon signed the Public
Health Cigarette Smoking Act in 1970 to ban cigarette
TV commercials.

This is thing 3425: That doesn't sound very capitalist
to me.

This is thing 3426: Richard Nixon resigned because he
was a dick.

This is thing 3427: In 2003, the age of cigarette
purchase was raised to 19 in Alabama, Alaska, New
Jersey, Utah, and Nassau, Suffolk and Onondoga
Counties in New York.

This is thing 3428: It was suggested that California
raise the age of purchase to 19, and maybe even to 21.

This is thing 3429: That's because California is where
EVERYTHING goes down.

This is thing 3430: In Massachusetts, the age of
purchase is 18, but parents are allowed to give their
children cigarettes.

This is thing 3431: In the UK, you only have to be 16
to buy tobacco products.

This is thing 3432: Egypt has a free-for-all policy on
tobacco purchase.

This is thing 3433: However, you can't buy alcohol
anywhere in Egypt, because Muslims are down like that.

This is thing 3434: In all areas of the world, the
prevalence of smoking is higher with men that with
women.

This is thing 3435: Ireland was the first European
country to put an out-right smoking ban in all
workplaces.

This is thing 3436: The fine for smoking in a
workplace is 3000 Euro.

This is thing 3437: In March 2006, Uruguay created a
ban on smoking in all enclosed public spaces. Bars,
restaurants, coffee shops, etc. that are caught with
people smoking inside receive a 1,100 (whatever
currency Uruguay uses) fine, or 3-day closure.

This is thing 3438: Smoking will be banned in
workplaces in Northern Ireland, effective April 30th,
2007.

This is thing 3439: In England, smoking will be
banned in public places, including workplaces, bars,
club, restaurants, starting July 1st, 2007.

This is thing 3440: In Wales, smoking will be banned
in work places, effective April 2nd, 2007.
This is thing 3441: In other words, get you smokes in
now, folks.

This is thing 3442: In 1991, the AMA published a
report saying that 5-6 year old could more easily
recognize Joe Camel than Mickey Mouse, Fred
Flintstone, Bugs Bunny or even Barbie.

This is thing 3443: The AMA should have compared Joe
Camel to cartoons that were popular in the early
1990's.

This is thing 3444: However, I was 4 in 1991, and
homeschooled, so I never watched cartoons.

This is thing 3445: The camel in the Camel Cigarette
logo is actually a dromedary, not a camel.

This is thing 3446: The artist who drew the dromedary
(or camel, whatever) didn't like his marketing
manager, so he drew into the camels leg a small
picture of a man peeing. This artist was Belgian.
Obviously.

This is thing 3447: Camel Orange - sold in Italy.
Sounds scary.

This is thing 3448: Camel Rare - cool!

This is thing 3449: Camel Smoothes - proof that adding
an extraneous "e" to words doesn't always make them
look cooler.

This is thing 3450: "Reykingar drepa" - Icelandic for
"Smoking Kills"

This is thing 3451: Camel Exotic Blends have been
recently discontinued, which is too bad. They sound
kind of delicious. See the following:

This is thing 3452: Camel Dark Mint.

This is thing 3453: Camel Crema

This is thing 3454: Camel Basma Blast.

This is thing 3455: Camel Mandarin Mint.

This is thing 3456: Camel Mandalay Lime.

This is thing 3457: Camel Aegean Spice.

This is thing 3458: Camel Kauai Kolada.

This is thing 3458: Camel Warm Winter Toffee.

This is thing 3459: Camel Winter Mocha Mint.

This is thing 3460: Camel Snake Eyes Scotch.

This is thing 3461: Camel Blackjack Gin (come on!
Anyone would smoke that! It sounds way too cool!)

This is thing 3462: Camel Screwdriver Slots.

This is thing 3463: Camel Midnight Madness.

This is thing 3464: Camel Back Alley Blend (that's
scary.)

This is thing 3465: These next few are made up.

This is thing 3466: Camel Heroin Laced Blend

This is thing 3467: Camel Baby Killer Blend.

This is thing 3468: Camel I-Hope-This-Gets-Me-Laid
Blend.

This is thing 3469: Camel Eerie Aroma Blend.

This is thing 3470: Camel Shit Blend.

This is thing 3471: Camel Cuddly Bears and Roses
Blend.

This is thing 3472: Camel Ice Ice Baby Blend.

This is thing 3473: Flavored Cigarettes were outlawed
in October 2006 for being to appealing to little
children.

This is thing 3474: The cigarette companies also used
to offer scratch-n-sniff samples. That probably is
going too far.

This is thing 3475: Candy cigarettes are pretty
fuckin' weird - and haven't been made illegal.

This is thing 3476: Rome y Julieta is a cigarette
brand made in Cuba. They are sold in countries that
aren't the USA.

This is thing 3477: Elixyr is a cheap brand of
cigarettes sold in Sweden. You can probably guess by
the spelling.

This is thing 3478: Double Happiness is a common
cigarette sold in China. It carries a very tiny health
warning on the side of the pack.

This is thing 3479: Zhongnanhai is a popular brand in
China.

This is thing 3480: Death Cigarettes were introduced
in the UK in 1991. The packaging had a black and white
skull and crossbones on the cover. It's marketing
scheme was to be entirely honest about the health
risks of cigarettes.

This is thing 3481: Death Cigarettes are a product of
The Enlightened Tobacco Company.

This is thing 3482: The Enlightened Tobacco Company
manuevered around the high UK taxes on cigarettes by
allowing people to buy them through mail-order from
Luxemburg.

This is thing 3483: They got in trouble for that,
obviously, and the company was dissolved in 1999.

This is thing 3484: Belomorkanal is a brand sold in
Russia and are one of the strongest brands of
cigarettes available in Europe.

This is thing 3485: Belomorkanal comes with a hollow
cigarette tube, which is used as a disposable
cigarette holder.

This is thing 3486: Part of the reason why
Belomorkanals became so popular is due to the fact
that hollow cigarette tube can be used for smokin' the
J.

This is thing 3487: Virginia Slims are pretty gay, and
were originally sold in 1968 with the slogan "You've
Come a Long Way, Baby."

This is thing 3488: They're much slimmer than normal
cigarettes, because normal sized cigarettes make women
look fat.

This is thing 3489: Eve cigarettes tried to compete
with Virgina Slims for the womens cigarette market,
but didn't do all that great.

This is thing 3490: Air Force One Cigarettes are the
cigarettes handed out on, you guessed it, Air Force
One. Every president for JFK to Ronald Reagan handed
out a special pack of cigarettes to each of their
guests aboard the plane.

This is thing 3491: Presidents and their buddies are
allowed to smoke on planes - we're not.

This is thing 3492: Germans like to cut to the chase,
and therefore have a brand of cigarettes called simply
"Sex." Sex Cigarettes feature a blend called Sex -
Smooth n' Easy.

This is thing 3493: Turkey has cigarettes called Daily
Mail. I have no other info on them.

This is thing 3494: In 1923 a female school teacher in
New Jersey was fired for smoking a cigarette. That's
because she's a lady - not for smoking around the
children.

This is thing 3495: Playboy once made cigarette packs.

This is thing 3496: Yo! is a brand of cigarettes sold
in Finland. They're psychedelic and pretty classless.

This is thing 3497: I'm getting really sick of writing
about cigarettes.

This is thing 3498: Athlete Cigarettes were considered
pretty risque in the laste 1800's, but now they're
seen as cute. Their packs would show a man laying a
field with a woman, both fully dressed, with the
slogan "Enough Said."

This is thing 3499: Enough said with these things.
Time to send them off to Stuart.

This is thing 3500: Too many butts, not enough seats.

This is thing 3501: My cellphone is my sword of
communication.

This is thing 3502: Wie sagt man, "in German" auf
Deutsch?

This is thing 3503: Was bedeutet "die Kisten?"

This is thing 3504: Albert Einstein was German.

This is thing 3505: I am Albert Einstein.

This is thing 3506: Therefore, I am German.

This is thing 3507: I drink Coffee.

This is thing 3508: Coffee is black.

This is thing 3509: Therefore, I am black.

This is thing 3510: You have red hair.

This is thing 3511: I have red hair.

This is thing 3512: Therefore I am you.

This is thing 3513: The people ahead of me are making
out.

This is thing 3514: I am ahead of me.

This is thing 3515: Therefore, I am making out.

This is thing 3516: George Washington is dead.

This is thing 3517: My great-grandma is dead.

This is thing 3518: Therefore, my great grandma is
George Washington.

This is thing 3519: Light bulbs shed light.

This is thing 3520: Shedding light can be really
logistically complicated.

This is thing 3521: Therefore, light bulbs are
complicated.

This is thing 3522: Money is the root of all evil.

This is thing 3523: I have money.

This is thing 3524: Therefore, I am the root of all
evil.

This is thing 3525: You wear tight jeans.

This is thing 3526: Tight jeans are degrading.

This is thing 3527: Therefore, you are degrading.

This is thing 3528: The people ahead of me are still
making out.

This is thing 3529: Making out is still for the birds.

This is thing 3530: Therefore, the people ahead of me
are birds.

This is thing 3531: Cold weather kills people.

This is thing 3532: I am cold weather.

This is thing 3533: Therefore, I kill people.

This is thing 3534: Most homeless people are addicted
to drugs.

This is thing 3535: Steve is mostly addicted to drugs.

This is thing 3536: Therefore, Steve is mostly
homeless.

This is thing 3537: The people ahead of me need to go
to a private place.

This is thing 3538: A private place is dark and
creepy.

This is thing 3539: Therefore, the people ahead of me
need to go be dark and creepy.

This is thing 3540: The 21st century is fast.

This is thing 3541: Soccer is fast.

This is thing 3542: Therfore, soccer is the 21st
century.

This is thing 3543: Cigarettes are on fire.

This is thing 3544: Your face is on fire.

This is thing 3545: Therefore, your face is a
cigarette.

This is thing 3546: Maybe I should have paid closer
attention to this part of philosophy class.

This is thing 3547: Would you like to come back to my
place and partake in an apple strudel?

This is thing 3548: Would you like to partake in my
place and come back an apple strudel?

This is thing 3549: If I asked you out on a date,
would your answer be yes, no, or maybe?

This is thing 3550: If your answer was yes, no, or
maybe, would I take you out on a date?

This is thing 3551: Can I take you for a stroll around
the park?

This is thing 3552: Or I could take the park around a
stroll for you.

This is thing 3553: I'm bloody cold,but that doesn't
necessarily make me illiterate.

This is thing 3554: I'm bloody illiterate, but that
doesn't make me necessarily cold.

This is thing 3555: I'm not sure it would be
appropriate to have a dance party in a graveyard.

This is thing 3556: Dead man dancing.

This is thing 3557: But I'm not sure it would be
inappropriate either.

This is thing 3558: How did the NADAQ make out today?

This is thing 3559: Did you make out with the NASDAQ
today?

This is thing 3560: The people ahead of me who were
making out have cleared the area, and their spot has
now been filled by a dark and sinister man.

This is thing 3561: The dark and sinister man is
eating a spinach pocket.

This is thing 3562: Spinach tastes good in a pocket.

This is thing 3563: A lot of things don't taste good
in a pocket.

This is thing 3564: Popsicle pocket.

This is thing 3565: Soup pocket.

This is thing 3566: Jean pocket.

This is thing 3567: Water pocket.

This is thing 3568: Muffin pocket.

This is thing 3569: Foie de gras pocket.

This is thing 3570: Butter pocket.

This is thing 3571: Butter substitute pocket.

This is thing 3572: Baby food pocket.

This is thing 3573: Hot Dog Pocket

This is thing 3574: Hot Dogs taste good on sticks.

This is thing 3575: Stuffing pocket

This is thing 3576: Pudding Pocket

This is thing 3577: Donut pocket

This is thing 3578: Coffee pocket

This is thing 3579: Pockets take over where sticks
cannot go.

This is thing 3580: Jello pocket.

This is thing 3581: Macaroni and Cheese pocket might
taste ok, but come on, it's just weird.

This is thing 3582: French Fry pocket.

This is thing 3583: Moist Dog Food pocket.

This is thing 3584: Kibbee Pocket.

This is thing 3585: Lightbulb Pocket.

This is thing 3586: Nipple Pocket.

This is thing 3587: Scrotum pocket.

This is thing 3588: Applesauce pocket.

This is thing 3589: Nacho pocket.

This is thing 3590: Hot chocolate pocket.

This is thing 3591: Corn pocket.

This is thing 3592: Shrimp pocket.

This is thing 3593: Limberger Cheese Pocket - yuck

This is thing 3594: Scallop and gouda pocket

This is thing 3595: Peanut Pocket

This is thing 3596: Cigarette Pocket.

This is thing 3597: Celery Pocket

This is thing 3598: Mustard Pocket

This is thing 3599: Pickle Pocket